I have problems with my neck. Many years ago it was injured and its never been the same since. I've been to several chiropractors over the course of years to care for it. There was a time when I could float up into headstands (with my arms holding most of the weight, of course), but its been a long time since I let myself try one again. Its not worth the pain and stiffness that might follow for days and weeks afterward.
The other day I was in a yoga class. Feeling a little self-conscious and trying to re-focus my mind time and time again on my own mat, my eyes wandering to see what the other students were doing. Comparing myself to their younger, leaner bodies.
The time came when the teacher prompted us to take a shoulder stand. Normally I would have peacefully opted out, to protect my neck. But my EGO showed up. It told me I had to show the teacher and the other students what I could do, especially since I'm becoming a teacher myself. I took the shoulder stand, and immediately felt my neck seize up. I sheepishly spend the rest of the class try subtly to stretch it out, and the rest of the day in regret. Feeling foolish for allowing my Ego to get in the way of what I truly love and know about yoga.
It is a practice, NOT a performance. Yoga is for all bodies and abilities. I have nothing to prove. My body and my practice are personal, and changing over time. Listening to the body's innate wisdom is more important than the suggested postures in class. Yoga is always a teacher. That day, it taught me to respect my knowing, and to make wiser decisions.
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